Saturday, September 3, 2011

How much beauty can you take?

I end the day under the influence of a small amount of wine (2/3 of a bottle is small, right? Oh yeah, plus a beer...), relieveing me of the USUAL influence of my ego.

I find myself reflecting on the incredible beauty that was interwoven through my day. In awe. I see that if we were to live in the divine light every moment of every day, we simply could not have the experiences we came here to have. My personal awareness of the infinite beauty around me ebbs and flows. Tonight it is at high tide.

I am swept away by the sychronicity of events today. It is astounding and beautiful. At every turn, there was reason and love, beauty and meaning. I spent time with dear loved ones virtually, in person, and in spirit. I laughed raucously. I listened intently. I learned. I observed others laughing and listening and learning. I met old friends intentionally and coincidentally. I relaxed and let my true self emerge without reservation amongst new friends. I lived this day fully.

And now I finish my day quietly, with my dog by my side, a cherry-topped english muffin in my belly, and a wish to record this emotion forevermore. What emotion is this? Contentment seems too small a word. I am full of excitement, yet completely at peace. I glow.

Have you glowed lately? Are you radiating your peace, your love, your joy outwardly? Come join me! I'm not sure how much longer I may be here, since this adoration for everything I see makes me feel like I will just float up and out of my body, it's so overwhelming. How much beauty can I take? My knitting beside me, the chair I'm sitting in, this uncomprehensible piece of technology at my fingertips, the original painting on the wall--and that's just what my eyes perceive. Each object containing such perfection! It reminds me of when I first became a mother; the feeling of wonder and love and instinct were all so strong, I felt like I would burst--and the worry, the fear, the fight in equal parts felt. It consumes like fire, and I had to learn to suppress it, lest I not be able to function normally!

Euphoria. That's what it is! Euphoria. Experiencing the divine in all--the wonder of it all--and being at peace with its infinity.

It's like looking at the stars in the sky, with their multitudes of planets, their vast distances, and knowing your role is so ridiculously miniscule, but with full knowledge of the necessity for each tiny piece to play its role accordingly. It's an empowerment.

Pardon my rambling. I just had to try to put this in words. Perhaps now my brain will rest. Goodnight, all.